Act 9 Scene 2 - Waiting

(The Smoker pacing determinately, rapidly puffs on a smoke.)
C: Waiting for something?
TS: Yeah.
C: Well?
TS: Well what?
C: What are you waiting for?
TS: God.
C: God?! What do you mean your waiting for God!
TS: I’m just messing with your head. I’m waiting for a friend to show up.
C: Oh...you kind of scared me there for a second. Who’s coming by?
TS: No one important.
C: Then why are you awaiting them so anxiously?
TS: I’m not, or well I wasn’t, but now I’m just frustrated.
C: I don’t get it.
TS: Ok, so this is what happened. They told me they were going to be here in five minutes. So I didn’t start doing anything and just sat to await their arrival. After ten minutes I started to pace, and now I’m pacing angrily, since it’s now been twenty minutes.
C: Why don’t you just do something else til they get here.
TS: I don’t have time, they’re already 15 minutes late, they could arrive any second, then I’d just have to stop what I was doing.
C: Why not call them and see when they’re arriving.
TS: because it’s useless. I know exactly what they’ll say. “Be there in five minutes.”
C: you’re hopeless.
TS: I know.

(The Smoker tosses Cigarette as far as he can and continues to pace.)

Act 9 Scene 1 - The Return

(The Smoker pulls out a very old, stale pack of smokes. Stares blankly at them, sighs and then lights one.)

TS: So I’m back.
C: ...
TS: Aren’t you going to say anything?
C:...
TS: Fine be that way. (The Smoker tosses Cigarette into the ashtray still lit.) I don’t need you anyway.
C: Wait!
TS: What? (The Smoker casually picks cigarette back up and takes a quick puff.)
C: Maybe I need you.
TS: Why? There’s plenty of other people who smoke.
C: Yeah, but no one else talks to me. Where the hell have you been?
TS: I quit.
C: Smoking? Or Blogging?
TS: Both I guess. But I’m back, bigger and badder then ever.
C: Yeah, well not having an appetite suppressant for a year will do that to you. You could use to lose a few pounds.
TS: Fuck you Cigarette!
(The Smoker violently grinds Cigarette into the ashtray, simultaneously, he lights another.)
C:...
TS: Ah...(The Smoker takes a long satisfying drag in the silence.)
C: So why did you quit?
TS: Oh, your still here.
C: Yup. You going to answer the question?
TS: I don’t really want to talk about it.
C: Is there something else you want to talk about?
TS: Not really.
C: So you gonna tell me then?
TS: Maybe next time, your times up.
C: Hey wai....

(The Smoker stamps cigarette into the ashtray, pleased to be back.)

Act 8 Scene 1 - Tragedy

(early morning, a chill still lingers as the sun beats at the Earth with furious abandon)

TS: It's all about fucking perspective.
C: Huh? Whuzzat?!? You talking to me? What's "all about" perspective?
TS: The news media, man. The fucking news media. They make a living off of making everything more dramatic than it really is, so they can pull in some of the Survivor/Reality T.V. audience. They thrive off of presenting raw human emotion without rational perspective.
C: You're thinking particularly about the hurricane coverage?
TS: Totally. I mean, if I was to judge by the media coverage, I would assume that 90% of New Orleans is still underwater after 9 days. I mean, c'mon, practically all the footage they show is of the neighborhoods that got hit the worst.
C: So you think it's not as bad as they're portraying?
TS: That's the whole fucking point, don't you see? I don't know! All I know is that they're skewing the perspective to get themselves better ratings. I don't know how little or how much. The point is that these fucking sharks should be held accountable for the misinformation they're spreading.
C: Is this one of your "policing the police" rants?
TS: You know it, man. There's gotta be some independent organization, that doesn't profit from lying to the public, set-up to watch these media behemoths.
C: The media would tear your hypothetical organization a new one, before it was even formed, dude. And your "Perspective" organization wouldn't be able to defend itself, cuz it would have no established cred with the public.
TS: Well, something has to be done...

(The Smoker dips Cigarette into the watery ashtray, hearing a satisfying hiss as Cigarette drowns)

The End

Act 42 Scene 42 - The End

(The Smoker leans back in his chair, unwillingly soaking in the warmth of the evening)

TS: Life tires me...
C: WTF is that supposed to mean?!?
TS: I dunno.(long pause) I feel like the essence of apathy, right now. And by "right now" I mean for the last month and half.
C: So what're you gonna do about it?
TS: (laughing boredly) I dunno. Nothing.
C: Well, at least tell your blog fans. And your clients, too.
TS: Whatever. They'll figure it out by themselves.
C: You're being totally irresponsible, dude.
TS: Whatever.(another long pause) On the intellectual level I feel like I should wish that I cared. Kinda.

(The Smoker dips Cigarette into the pool with a guilt-inducing hiss)

INTERMISSION

Cigarette: So, uh, The Smoker is trying to quit, right now, and will resume blogging once he fails. I invite you all at this time to check out the archives. There were some pretty good Dialogues in the beginning of this blog, although the graphics were definitely lacking. Anyhoo...uh....yeah...please deposit your trash in the designated receptacles, feel free to visit our concession stand, and have a lovely rest-of-the-day.

Injustice

Act 7 Scene 4 - Injustice

(a warm, sunny late afternoon, with a cool breeze blowing, The Smoker enters)

TS: Wow. What a fucking movie. I mean...wow.
C: What did you watch?
TS: Hotel Rwanda. It's got that guy that played the explosives expert in Ocean's 11/12. Y'know, the black, British guy with the big eyes.
C: Okay. How was it?
TS: Totally intense. Totally fucking intense. It really made me think about why certain cruelties are so much worse than others.
C: Oh? How's that?
TS: Well, it just showed how much greater of an evil it is when the defenseless are persecuted, y'know?
C: So, do you think there is some kind of relationship between the degree of defenselessness of the victim and the atrocity of the crime.
TS: Oh, totally. I mean, this movie really showed, to me at least, how despicably evil killing of the defenseless is. Versus, say, killing an enemy soldier in combat. Or even murdering a man who has some means of defense, like a gun. Or something.
C: Shit, man! All murder is evil!
TS: That's not the point, dude. All rape is evil, too. That doesn't mean that raping someone is anywhere near the same as murdering someone. There are serious degrees of evil, is my point. And the more helpless someone is, the more evil the injustice.
C: Yeah, well, murder is murder. Same end result, dude. Someone is killed who didn't deserve it.
TS: You can be so fucking dumb, sometimes. I think that a 4-year-old girl getting her throat slit is a helluva lot fucking worse, than a grown man being killed while defending himself with an assault rifle. Both are murder, but at least the man had a chance to defend himself.
C: Fine, fine, fine... So I guess there is some correlation between the defenslessness of the victim, and the atrocity of the crime.
TS: Damn straight there is...

(The Smoker looks down to see that Cigarette has burned down to the filter, then tosses Cigarette into the ashtray, and exits)

Socialite

Act 7 Scene 3 - Socialite

(The Smoker enters, from a night at the pool hall, his first social outing in a month)

TS: Yeah, If I had to classify myself, I would say I'm a bit of a social chameleon.
C: A social chameleon, eh? ...WTF does that mean?
TS: Y'know, in social situations I take in my surroundings, and then blend myself to best fit in.
C: So you're, like, a people-watcher.
TS: Sort of. But not as reclusive.
C: I never liked people-watchers.
TS: Oh? Why not?
C: Well, it seems like they're the pretentious-college-hippie of the social crowd, y'know? Always putting people into simple categories so that they could pretend like they know what's going on, thus relieving their innate fear of the unknown. Except they never end up doing anything but make snide remarks, and avoid really getting to know the people they're watching. Even when they're given the opportunity to get to know the person better.
TS: Well, maybe. But everyone is afraid of the unknown.
C: Yeah, but these people don't even want to know. They just want to pretend like they know.
TS: Yeah. I don't think I'm that kind of people-watcher. I study people for the sake of being able to understand them better, in case I'm given that opportunity.
C: Good thing, then. Cuz you just narrowly dodged being labeled a hippie.
TS: (laughing) Whew! That was a close one!

(The Smoker chuckles as he drops Cigarette out in the ashtray, and heads inside)

News

Act 7 Scene 2 - News

(it's a warm summer's night, The Smoker enters with a disturbed expression on his face)

TS: I've been reading and watching The News a lot, lately. There's some serious shit going on in the world.
C: There's always been, and always will be serious shit going on the world. It's a big world.
TS: Yeah, but watching and reading about all of this just makes me feel so depressed, and helpless.
C: Shit, man, I know what your problem is. Your problem is that you can't stay focused on the evil that's going on in your own sphere, but instead you gotta look at the whole world as your personal problem.
TS: Well, I can't just sit on my ass and do nothing. That's the philosophy that's stopping shit from getting better.
C: Aww, fuck that. Shit is getting better. Disease, poverty, oppression. All these things are less proportionally than they were 100 years ago. Or even 20 years ago. There's just a lot more people on Earth. 5% of the population is a helluva lot more people now than it was 100 years ago.
TS: What?! So I shouldn't give a shit, cuz things are getting better?
C: Dude, that's not what I'm saying at all. Just don't get brainwashed by The Media's focus on the bad shit. And besides, you ain't gonna do anything if you wait until you can solve all the world's problems. Life's about doing the most with what you have.
TS: Alright. Sounds fair enough. I guess I should disconnect my 24-hr News IV.
C: Damn straight. That shit's crippling you more than it's informing you. It's not that it's not all true. It's just that those truths aren't gonna help you to be a better person.
TS: Yeah...(meditating on this)...Fuck CNN.

(dropping Cigarette respectfully into the ashtray, The Smoker exits with a renewed sense of purpose)

Frugality

Act 7 Scene 1 - Frugality

(The Smoker comes stomping out of the house, cursing)

TS: stupid-goddamn-cheap-ass-piece-of-shit-ass-crap-fuck-damn...
C: ...
TS: Stupid-ass US Robotics, making cheap, pieces of crap...
C: ...
TS: (looks down at Cigarette) Feel free to chip-in when you want.
C: Oh? You mean I'm allowed to talk now? How kind of you!
TS: Whatever. Quit whining. My BRAND-NEW wireless router just broke, and now I can't work. Again.
C: ...
TS: You could say, "I told you, so", now, if you want. You were right. It doesn't pay to go with the cheapest piece of hardware I could find. OK? You. Were. Right.
C: ...
TS: Ooohhh. So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Giving me the silent treatment, eh? Well fuck you, too.
C: ...
(long pause, The Smoker takes a long deep pull off of Cigarette)
C: ...
TS: Alright, man. This is starting to piss me off. I could use a little sympathy, or something, here. I just wasted 8 hours of my time trying to get my internet access back up. I'm feeling a little bummed out right now.
C: I'm sure your blog friends will cheer you up, dude. You don't need little 'ol me anymore, right?
TS: Fuck, you, Cigarette. Fuck you.

(Cigarette smiles inwardly as The Smoker snubs him out with disgust)